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Модератор форума: Stalker, gfhflbp  
Форум » С юмором по стройке » Мы кладем на совесть!!! » МЫ КЛАДЕМ НА СОВЕСТЬ!!! (строители шутят)
МЫ КЛАДЕМ НА СОВЕСТЬ!!! (строители шутят)
StalkerДата: Суббота, 18.09.2010, 19:46 | Сообщение # 1
Группа: Удаленные





Строительная фирма "Кузнецк Строй"...

Рекламный слоган: "МЫ КЛАДЕМ НА СОВЕСТЬ"

 
StalkerДата: Суббота, 18.09.2010, 22:32 | Сообщение # 2
Группа: Удаленные





На входе в мастерскую на дверях объявление: ОПЫТНЫЕ МАСТЕРА!!! РЕМОНТИРУЕМ ВСЁ!!!!

Чуть ниже приписка: "Стучите громче - звонок не работает!"

 
StalkerДата: Суббота, 18.09.2010, 22:33 | Сообщение # 3
Группа: Удаленные





На сдаваемом объекте по улице Герцена наша бригада электриков перевыполнила план, подняв напряжение на щитах жильцов с 220 в до 1000...
 
StalkerДата: Суббота, 18.09.2010, 23:54 | Сообщение # 4
Группа: Удаленные





В Пензе есть Инженерно-Строительный Институт. Но "ПИСИ" они называться не захотели, поэтому написали "ПенИСИ"...
 
StalkerДата: Воскресенье, 19.09.2010, 00:03 | Сообщение # 5
Группа: Удаленные





В школьные годы, еще живя в Свердловске, Юрий Гагарин был влюблен в девушку, по имени Наина. Он даже предлагал ей руку и сердце, но она отказала ему.

Позже, увидев Юрины фотографии в газетах Наина очень расстраивалась: "Могла бы быть женой первого космонавта, а живу с каким-то строителем!".
Тогда Наина еще не знала, что этому строителю предстоит стать президентом самого большого государства в мире...

 
StalkerДата: Воскресенье, 19.09.2010, 00:07 | Сообщение # 6
Группа: Удаленные





Шеф работал в 60-е строителем. Рассказывал:

Помню, к нам на сторойку должен был Хрущев приехать.У нас только фундамент, а по графику должны уже на втором этаже быть.
Ну, согнали все СМУ, каски всем выдали, рукавицы, да за ночь-то и сложили два этажа. Насухо, без раствора. Перекрыли кое-как. А он не приехал!
Ну, мы конечно надеялись, что не приедет, а то бы с раствором сложили. Но оно и так до сихпор стоит, и люди живут...

 
StalkerДата: Понедельник, 20.09.2010, 16:34 | Сообщение # 7
Группа: Удаленные





Это реальный счет, найденный в кладовой Прилуцкого мужского монастыря.

Один маляр был приглашен в церковь для реставрации стен, икон и куполов храма. После выполнения работ настоятель предложил маляру написать счет за проделанную работу. Маляр, не будучи знатоком в тонкостях русского языка и бухгалтерии, написал счет:

1. Увеличил небеса и прибавил звезд - 280 рублей
2. Раскрасил место рождения Христа - 250 рублей
3. Промыл мудрую деву и покрыл ее два раза - 270 рублей
4. Деве Марии сделал нового младенца - 300 рублей
5. Восстановил Божьей Матери вытертые места - 150 рублей
6. Поправил одежду Адаму и Еве после искушения - 185 рублей
7. По разу покрыл всех жен миротворцев - 320 рублей
8. Покрыл три раза Марию Магдалину матом, чтоб не блестела - 150 рублей
9. Отделал Варвару у входа - 180 рублей
10. Покрыл Ангела и вставил перо святому духу - 150 рублей
11. Покрасил зад Мадонне лаком - 125 рублей
12. Удлинил конец Архангелу Михаилу - 270 рублей
13. Разделил линии и поставил крест под всеми святыми - 120 рублей

Подпись: маляр Смирнов Василий

На счете имелась резолюция: "Церковному старосте оплатить счет этому богохульнику, пока он не перепортил всех святых".
Подпись: настоятель храма отец Роман.

 
{kapameJIbka}Дата: Четверг, 26.07.2012, 13:28 | Сообщение # 8
Рядовой
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svetik78Дата: Понедельник, 30.07.2012, 11:50 | Сообщение # 9
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SweedadeodeДата: Четверг, 12.07.2018, 17:19 | Сообщение # 10
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anaBouraДата: Четверг, 13.09.2018, 11:35 | Сообщение # 11
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